Angry Black Women
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” – Great lyrics from the song Closing Time, and it couldn’t be any truer when applied to this stereotype that preceeds Black women.
Many people truly believe most BW are Angry or have bad attitudes. Where did this stereotype come from? Assuredly, all groups of people get angry and all groups have individuals within it who possess bad attitudes, but for some reason the terms Angry and Mad has been attached and stuck to BW. After all, when was the last time you heard the term Angry Asian Women or Mad White Women? I, for one, never have. Asian Women as a whole are thought of as being the epitome of feminine, submissive, soft – the antithesis of angry/mad, though I have encountered AW with bad attitudes and abrasive behavior.
It is very difficult to change the minds of people. It is much easier to introduce new information to someone so that they gradually change their own opinion. Our new beginning comes from the ending of the belief that Black Women are always angry or mad at the world. So how can we change this perception that others have about us without becoming a doormat or suppressing our feelings?
USE YOUR WORDS: BW should make every effort to learn to express ourselves and our disapproval about a matter without going into neck rolling, finger snapping, loud and boisterous mode. Having a large vocabulary will enable you to say what you need to say without resorting to cursing, name calling, put downs and shouting matches, which only reflect negatively on you and feeds right into this stereotype. Words make us human: knowing more words makes us more human so learn to express your point of view calmy but pointedly. We can accomplish this by reading more, writing more, purchasing vocabulary building software/books, trying to learn a new word every day or taking continuing education English and grammar classes.
SMILE MORE: A woman smiling will not be mistaken for being angry or having a bad attitude. Having a pleasant expression and demeanor is imperative as too many of us are not aware of the face we show the world. If you make eye contact with a stranger, smile or greet that person with a simple “Good morning/afternoon/evening”. Don’t wait for the other person to do so first, because we have to be in charge of changing our image. If a non-Black person already thinks you are angry or have a bad attitude, it makes sense that they avoid, not befriend, you. Be cognizant of the messages you are sending to strangers. You can be the happiest or nicest person once someone gets to know you, but if you walk around unwittingly with a sour face or give strangers the stink/evil eye, you will only be keeping the angry BW image alive.
CHECK YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY: The BW image overhaul has to start with a few BW who will spread the word to others they have influence over. If you know someone who displays the angry BW with a bad attitude stereotype, alert them to the way they come off. You should be able to tell your friends/family that they are embarrasing you with their behavior/words or that it is unnecessary to be rude. If you laugh or remain silent you are enabling them whereas shame has a way of making people check themselves. If your friends/family are not interested in altering their behavior after you have brought to their attention how they are being perceived, cut them loose or limit contact. It should be evident to BW that everyone is not good for you. Be picky with who you surround yourself with. Choose like-minded people, those interested in elevating themselves, as friends. Also, if you have children rear them to be friendly, approachable and social with other groups of people. Set the example.
DON’T GO INTO CUSTOMER SERVICE IF YOU DON’T LIKE PEOPLE OR ARE IMPATIENT: Most non-bp encounter BW in customer service oriented jobs. This is where the stereotype is probably most reinforced. Too many times than I care to mention I can recall BW who have had callous attitudes or unpleasant dispositions while serving me. These women hate their jobs or are indifferent and they do not mind making it known. Some Black people have even pledged to only patronize non-Black establishments because of negative experiences with Black employees. A simple solution to this is to know your strengths and weaknesses. If you are not good with people refrain from customer service jobs or LEARN to be good with people. Your daily interaction with the public can change the way people view BW and if non-BP start to have more positive experiences than negative ones when encountering BW, they will be less likely to think a happy, helpful BW with good CS skills is a fluke.
What are some other ways we can stomp out the stereotype of Black women being angry or having bad attitudes?
