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Travel by way of Internet Dating

October 30, 2010

Ok, so this one is a little unorthodoxwhen it comes to ways Black Women can travel the world … but I was reading another BWE blog (Sara’s) and there was a woman named Nita who posted about a dilemma she was encountering and needed some advice/help. She had met a man online who lived in Germany and after a few months of talking to him (and some of his relatives) via video chat he propositioned her to come and pay him a visit in his home country.

She told her family that she planned to go and they were very unsupportive and negative from what I gathered. As a woman travelling to a foreign country alone there was just reason for concern – I remember wanting to go abroad by my self (since none of my other friends had the means to come with me) and my mother, who is usually very encouraging about everything I do, being adamantly against me travelling alone.

One of her siblings apparently had a connection to someone in Germany and quickly filled this poster’s head with ideas of kidnapping/being sold into the sex trade and how Germans in the particular area she wanted to visit were known for being racist.

Of course, the poor girl was terrified if she was going to be making a huge mistake and was considering cancelling her trip due to the fearful/frightful ideas her “friends” and family had put in her head. She was feeling really down about it because the guy had taken three weeks off from work in anticipation of her visit and now she was dreading having to tell him she would no longer be coming. Some of the other posters on the blog told her not to cancel her trip, and instead recommended taking safety precautions that would still enable her to go. So, she ignored the naysayers, gave her parents the internet address and some details about her friend and forged ahead.

I was so happy to read her update after she came back from Germany *I’ve been there and the men are pretty gorg!*. Her trip was a huge success! She said she was treated incredibly well by her host. His family was accommodating and hospitable and she got to experience Germany in a way she never would have had she not known this guy. At the end of the trip he made a romantic comment about already feeling empty that she was leaving. She is currently making plans to see him again in the Spring, but this time in Italy *the Country of LOVE and ROMANCE*. I love it! She will be travelling the world with her new friend – and to think, she could have headed everyone’s warning and missed out big time.

Another blogger [MySoCalledLifeinFrance] who now lives in France originally met her husband online and initially travelled to see him by her lonesome as well. She says they decided to get married so they would stop travelling back and forth. The internet opens the world up and if you are not particularly looking for a romantic connection you can certainly make same gender friends online who live in exotic places! Then, you can go and visit them and vice versa.

PROS:
* You’ll have a native host who speaks the language to be your personal tour guide and show you places you probably would never discover if you were just a ‘normal’ tourist
* Cheap or free accommodations
* Finding a boyfriend/mate
* If your new friend is in Europe it is possible to go to nearby countries with him since traveling within Europe can be fairly inexpensive.

CONS:
* Can be dangerous (so make sure you take safety precautions and follow your gut instincts if things seem amiss
* You may end up not liking the person in real life and feel “stuck there”
* Not speaking the language
* If you become really attached to the person you are dating, it could really suck as you will now be in a long distance relationship (especially sucky if neither of you plan on moving)

P.S. Nita, if you are reading this I would love to publish your story in your own words on the blog (in the post) and/or interview you for others to read the outcome. I think it would be helpful to other women who are facing a decision like the one you faced and it would also be beneficial to those who are interested in meeting guys this way to know how you did it safely. Please write me in the comments section!

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